why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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