and you said cock pushups were impossible
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
