i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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