Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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