Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I am in a vortex of obligation.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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