Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I just found a bag of teeth...
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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