It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize