i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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