I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
