as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
