Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
