Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
