haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
