So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
