and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
