Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
