i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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