Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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