Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
