I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You took a bar mat shot.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
