The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm just crazy horny about you
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
