I love having hate sex.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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