Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
