We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize