well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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