WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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