i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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