Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The uberlube is also flammable
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
