she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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