plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
