she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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