I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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