The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
