After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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