You made me cry and you don't even care
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
