i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
At least life still wants to fuck me.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
