Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
