in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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