The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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