She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
