There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
