i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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