Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
