All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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