Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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