I bet he comes in French.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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