no, he came in my armpit
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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