mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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