is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize