how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
They took my balls.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize