I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
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