Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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