Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
