she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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