who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
