If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
