And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
